I know it's been awhile since I have made a blog post, but here I am with something that has been on my heart for awhile now.
As you can
already tell, the title of this blog post is on jealousy. I feel like it is something we all deal with at some point in our life. I just wanted to share with you guys a little bit about my own struggles with the lies of jealousy.
I will be bluntly honest with you. I have struggled with jealousy my whole life. I'd say from the beginning of my middle school years it has been a problem for me. Whether that jealousy is about not having the latest & greatest things, wanting a perfect family, or not having the the perfect relationships everybody thinks I have. It's a real struggle & I feel like a lot of us can admit to that. I know I can! I find myself jealous sometimes every day & it's not healthy.
Since I am always real with y'all, I am going to tell you a little bit about my past struggles with this & my story.
From about the age of twelve I always looked up to older girls. Always wanting what they had & couldn't wait to be their age. It got so bad I would envy girls all over instagram wishing & longing for just the perfect dress they were wearing or that they had so much of the good, expensive makeup & I had barely any of the cheep kind. So, instead of swallowing that jealousy & realizing how blessed I was, I decided to take things into my own hands. I decided to get what I always longed for & wanted. I started stealing things. I started stealing things from people that were really close to me. Doing these things put me down such a dark path. No matter how much stuff I stole & having all the things I ever wanted it never fulfilled me. It left me empty & broken. I always wanted more. Thinking that if I just stole one more thing I would have everything that I ever wanted. But, I never did. I ruined a lot of relationships with the people I loved. One of those being my own mom. I don't think I would ever say this back then, but I would now. I was blessed to get caught. God got to me before satan ever could. The night that I got caught my dad instilled in me a verse that has stuck with me to this day. It's John 10:10, "The thief comes only to steal, kill, & destroy. But I come with life that you may have it abundantly." I came to a point before I got caught that I knew it was wrong what I was doing, but was scared to admit that I had a problem. I was scared that I would be alone & that nobody would forgive me. But that's not true. There is a God waiting for you with open arms to forgive you & to give you life. He is there giving us ridiculous grace. Over & over again. He loves you & wants you. Don't forget that. Jealousy comes with insecurities & insecurities are lies that come straight from satan. Don't believe them. You are worth SO much more. <3
So, that is just the beginning of my story & there is so much more. It was honestly really hard to write this blog post just because one of my insecurities is letting people see the real me & letting myself get vulnerable. I don't like it & it makes me uncomfortable, but I know God has a plan for it all. At the end of the day I just want to see God use my stories to help other people. So, if you are struggling with an issue like this, or something totally different, my contact info is on my blog & I would love to hear from you! xoxoHB